Chapter Six Partners
by Wilsden
Summary: Doyle starts to learn some of what has made Bodie the way he is.


The Seven Ages of Bodie.

Chapter Six. Partners.

Bodie threw himself onto the sofa. "Oh God, I enjoyed that, mate!"

"Yeah, it was great wasn't it?" I agreed, watching the huge smile spread across the mud splattered face of my partner. His eyes are shining with a rarely seen happiness. "I really needed that." I added.

"Me too. I didn't realise how much I…." he trailed off thoughtfully and I watch the smile slip quietly from him. We had taken the bikes out to some local hills and woodland for the afternoon and all but thrashed the living daylights out of them in the rough terrain, enjoyed several pints in a local pub and then did some more riding before reluctantly heading home, stopping only to buy fish and chips on the way.

Over the past few weeks I had watched this normally tight lipped, often seemingly angry person emerge into someone quite the opposite. Far from coming across as the hard uncaring individual he seemed anxious to portray he was in fact someone incredibly warm honourable and,amazingly, startlingly vunerable at times. Today, away from the confines of work he completely let himself go. He continued to be enormous fun and we talked and swopped stories until I felt like I had always known him. We had become so easy and comfortable in each others company and I grew to like him more each day. But always, at the back of my mind, were unanswered questions I had about him and about where I now stood in our growing relationship.

On and off throughout the day I had felt his blue eyes upon me watching me with a deep intensity and when I caught his eyes they'd dart away from me sharply until he felt my gaze leave him again only for him to resume his slow warm regard of me.

Even though I was encouraged by this new more open side to him my good sense prevented any enquiry from me and I was to be glad that it had for I didn't have to wait long for at least some of my questions to be answered.

"We'll have to do it again sometime." I suggested, putting the fish and chips on the coffee table between us.

"Definitely." Bodie unwrapped the food filling the air with its enticing smell. For a while we relax into the quiet air of contentment that settles between us as we eat but when I get up to fetch bottles of cold beer from the fridge there's a change in him. Without warning he had become agitated and seems hesitant as if trying to settle an internal struggle. I watch without prompting or pressing; I know as always I have to wait for him. And then a decision seems to have been made though not without a last pause in silent conformation with himself of this final outcome. From his pocket he produces a door key and, placing it on the table, he wordlessly pushes it slowly and deliberately towards me with a forefinger. It gleams like silver in the failing light of the day and he raises his eyes to meet mine. They catch my inability to grasp the meaning of his action though I still see in their blueness the smouldering opaqueness that continue to deny me access.

"I'd like you to have the key to my apartment," he states firmly and then flashes a smile at me suddenly. "You'll probably need it next week as I sleep like a log and I'd never hear you at the door. I'm not good at early mornings. I don't know how you do it!"

"Years of practise!" I stare down at the key. Bodie smiles warmly at me as we lift our bottles and chink them gently together.

"I didn't want to like you," he admitted softly. "In fact I was determined not to."

"But I grew on you, like a fungus!"

"Something like that. It wasn't you, it would have been anyone I was partnered with. You understand that it was nothing against you, nothing personal?"

"Yeah, I got that much." I wait patiently hardly daring to believe he is at last letting me in.

"I realised today how much I missed just knocking around with a mate and having fun. That's something I've not had in a while." Bodie pauses and takes a long mouthful of beer. "I had a mate. Cass." he continues. "Cassidy Palmer. We met in the army and just hit it off straight away. He and the Army sort of rescued me at a time when my home life wasn't great. He was the one constant in my life when I really needed it."

He glances across at me and his eyes field any further details on this from me.

"We followed each other into the S.A.S." he went on. "We were inseperable and had so much fun getting into some right scrapes! We were rarely out of each others company, perhaps that was half the problem. We became complacent, took each other for granted. I trusted him completely and utterly and without question. Trust and loyalty are two qualities I hold high above all others and Cassie knew it. He knew how important it was to me. I gave everything of myself to him, he knew everything about me." Bodie picks up a small handful of chips and gets up to stand beside the window. He stares out thoughtfully and takes a bite of a chip before turning to face me.

"We would go out on double dates sometimes, Cassie and Charlotte, me and Sophie. She was a bird I'd been seeing for ages, it looked quite serious. Well, maybe not." he said on reflection. "But I cared about her a lot. I thought she felt the same, thought she cared about me. Apart from Cass I'd not allowed myself to get attached to anyone before. Then I found her in bed one day with Cass."

"Christ, Bodie!"

"Apparently it had been going on for months. I had no idea, never suspected a thing. Why would I? I had no reason to, I trusted Cass. It never entered my head to do otherwise."

"What happened?"

"I went beserk, nearly killed him. I left the S.A.S, I couldn't stay not while he was still there. And then my world seemed to spiral out of control."

"When was all this?"

Bodie sits down again and shrugs. "I dunno, six months ago I suppose." He smiles suddenly. "There I was almost blind drunk in a real dive of an East End pub when this Scottish bloke comes in looking for me. Cowley!"

"You're kidding?"

"No, AND he never bought me a drink!"

"No change there then!" I said and we share a laugh.

"To be fair Cowley saved me from myself again. He didn't get much sense out of me that day, I'd no idea what he was talking about but he came to my flat the next day and persuaded me to join C.I.5. I have to take my hat off to him, I wouldn't have taken me on if I were him given the state I was in."

I fetch us both another bottle of beer and pass one to Bodie.

"Don't bite my head off and I'm not condoning what Cass did," I venture carefully, " but you and he must have known each other for what, at least fifteen years? And been to hell and back together? Couldn't you have forgiven him, maybe not straight away but in time?"

"No." Bodie's reply is flat and determined. "There are some lines you never cross and he crossed it. There was no way back."

"What about Sophie in all this? It takes two to tango as they say."

"I never saw her again. Maybe I could forgive her. I can live without men, I can't live without women."

I leaned back on the sofa. So it was a man that had in effect broken Bodie's heart and now I could see why he kept me at arms length. For all his bluff and bravado and even after all he'd seen and done in his life he was more of a sensitive soul than he cared to let on. Cass's actions appear to have all but destroyed him. And this was just six months ago, it was still an open wound. Bodie seemed to read my mind.

"When Cowley said we were all to be in teams of two I was livid. He'd not mentioned that this was his intention when he interviewed me nor at any stage of our training. If he had I would have told him where to stick his job. The last thing I wanted was someone I'd have to work closely with, someone I'd have to trust."

"So what changed?"

"You kept sticking your neck out for me and wouldn't give up no matter how many times I tried to shake you off. I liked that. I decided to give it a go with you, you seemed to have the same values as me even if you were a cop, and that matters. Cowley said you were upset when he told you he was going to split us up. That sort of sealed it for me. And anyone that can take down Carlos Roscoli has to be worth sticking with!"

"What happened to paddling your own canoe?"

"My arms got tired!" Bodie smiles at me. "It was turning me back into someone I used to be, someone I…." he trails off, not wishing to share this with me.

"Where does this leave us then, Bodie?" I ask, folding up the fish and chip paper. "Do you want friendship or are you happier with keeping our relationship work related?"

"I'd like us to be more than friends in time."

I wiggle my eyebrows at him in amusement and he suddenly realises what his words might have implied. There's a slight flush to his face as he rushes to put me right.

"Oh! I don't mean… you know…. I'd like …"

I sit back enjoying his discomfiture. He seems to catch hold of himself and takes a breath. "What I mean is I'd like us to be good friends, perhaps the best of friends given time if you want, that is."

"I'd like that too, mate, especially as you ride my bikes and eat me out of house and home!"

"What do you mean! I bought the fish and chips,didn't I?" Bodie raises his bottle of beer and clashes it gently against mine. "Cheers. To friendship."

He finally appears to be at peace with himself and I stare down at the key still sitting on the coffee table. It seems to have unlocked a lot more than the door to his flat. I have a partner. I have a friend.

"To friendship, mate."


End file.
